When I was a child, I lived in an old apartment building that offered little privacy for the tenants. Because the apartments were so close together, people could see and hear things that were intended to be kept private. We would often hear people shouting at each other and sometimes even fighting, along with the occasional sound of breaking dishes.

Unfortunately, children often like to think of tricks to play on others without thinking of how it might hurt them, and I was one of them. It happened on a pitch-dark night when the wind was howling and the rain pounded hard against the windows. Suddenly, lightning ripped through the sky followed by the loud sound of thunder, but neither could cover the horrible sounds that came from an apartment on the first floor of the building. Even living on the fifth floor, I could plainly hear shouting, fighting, and crying, along with some really bad words. Some neighbors tried to get them to stop the fighting, but nothing helped until everyone fell asleep around 3am.

A short sleep put me in bad mood the next day. Swollen eyes and dizziness made it easy to lose my temper. I always had fun playing with my friends after dinner, and this night was no exception. Later that evening, one of the adults who was quarreling the night before brought her little 3-year old daughter to play with us. While we played hide and seek in our apartment, her mother returned to her apartment on the first floor. 

As we began playing, I thought of a way to pay her mother back for neglecting our rights to enjoy a quiet night, so I decided to teach her a lesson by threatening her daughter. I told the little girl: “Your mother doesn’t love you, and she will abandon you. Now look at her, she is in the apartment and you will never get in there anymore. Remember your mother …” The little girl burst into tears before I finished my threatening speech. “Mom, Mom, don’t leave me, I’ll be a good girl” she said. The tears, flowing like pearls down an endless string, came from her eyes. The little girl was so scared that she couldn’t stop crying. On the contrary, her crying got louder and louder until she started to scream.

Her mother heard her screaming and rushed to the door of her apartment to see what was happening. The mother stood in the doorway of her apartment on the first floor looking up at us with misty-eyes and shouting out her love in a sobbing tone. The 15-meter distance between this mother and her daughter seemed like a huge gap that could never be crossed. I will never forget seeing the sad and despairing eyes of the mother as she tried to console her little girl. It was then that I realized that what I had done was unforgiveable.

I don’t remember much after that, and I never found out if this mother told my parents about what I had done. As I grew older, I came to realize how shameful my behavior was and what a bad influence I had on that little girl. Even now I am so regretful for my behavior, but there is nothing I can do to change the past. I know I will be paid back for what I have done, so I have decided to be a kind-hearted person who will never make fun of others, but always try my best to do good to friends and help strangers. 

Additional Comments – I was saddened to see that my student believed that her actions were “unforgiveable” when in fact, all wrong-doing is forgivable. And to think that she felt she would be “paid back” for her behavior made me even more sad. Just think of Jesus’ story of the prodigal son who lost all his portion of His Father’s wealth through shameful and riotous living, and yet when he returned home and confessed his sin before his Father, he was immediately forgiven and his debt erased without punishment. The Bible is clear – “If we confess our sins (admit to them), He is faithful and righteous, and will forgive our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). 

Regardless of her feelings about the possibility of being forgiven, she was so moved by her offense that she made a commitment to be kind to others, even strangers. Showing kindness is one of the great Christian virtues, as Paul reminds us to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God is Christ has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32). All those who have been forgiven have “tasted of the kindness of the Lord (1 Peter 2:3), and therefore, we have every motivation to extend such kindness, compassion, and forgiveness to others.

In the end, my student’s sin of “commission” led her to make some changes in her life. Although I am sad that she may still be living with unconfessed sin and guilt over this incident, I am grateful for her commitment to make the changes she spoke of in her paper. Maybe someday, she will find that sweet peace that comes from being forgiven by God. And if any of you have not experienced that yet, I pray the same for you.