Last week, we took some time to look at the debilitating nature of bondage, particularly spiritual bondage. Jesus not only sets us free from the penalty and power of sin, but also from the paralyzing effects of living with both fear and worry. But there is another bondage that we have all faced at one time or another, and that is the bondage that comes from unforgiveness toward those who have caused us hurt and pain.  

Jesus had a lot to say about our need to forgive others. If we have previously asked for God’s forgiveness, failing to forgive others brings our own forgiveness into jeopardy. In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus calls us to ask God to forgive our own “debts,” just as we have forgiven our “debtors” (Mt. 6:12). Jesus continued, “For if you forgive men their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions (Mt. 6:14-15). Unforgiveness prevents genuine worship and fellowship with God. In addition, it breeds anger, resentment, and bitterness (Heb. 12:15). And finally, as we have all experienced, it imprisons our own soul and actually prevents us from healing. 

Sometimes, we get the wrong idea about forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a feeling, nor is it pretending that you weren’t hurt by the other person. Forgiving does not justify the actions of the other person, nor does it make you forget what has been done to you. And finally, forgiveness does not relieve the other person’s responsibility to ask forgiveness from God as well as from you. 

Realizing that forgiveness opens the door for your own healing, I’d like all of us to understand that forgiving that other person (or persons) is costly. Why? It’s because when you forgive, you refuse to demand payment for the hurt and pain the other person has caused you. Furthermore, you choose to live with the burdens of the other person’s sin without bringing it up to that person again, nor sharing it with others. Think of it, when God forgives you, does He keep bringing up your sin, reminding you of it at every turn? And, does God go around telling everyone what you have done. Of course not. Then neither should we.

We should follow the example Jesus’ set as He hung on the cross and said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Lk. 23:34). Those who crucified Him did not recognize their sin, nor did they seek forgiveness. We should do likewise toward those who have hurt us. I pray that during this holiday weekend, we will all find the freedom that comes from forgiving others.