As we all know, having a close friend in life is a true gift. Indeed, Jiayu is my dear friend and she always encourages and helps me a lot. However, we didn’t always get along. Years ago, she was my desk mate in middle school. She has always had a direct way of speaking because she likes to point out other people’s shortcomings. Moreover, she is a perfectionist, and back in middle school, she couldn’t stand my accent or my way of dressing. So, you might be asking, how could we possibly be friends?
We came into conflict from the beginning. It was a bright summer day and the sunlight filtered through the window of the classroom. Jiayu and I were sitting by the window working on a lesson. The sun was dim at first, but it became brighter as it rose in the sky. I said to her, “It’s too dark in here and I’d like to open the curtain so that we could have more sunlight.” I spoke Chinese with my Li language accent as usual. Suddenly she said to me, “You should learn to speak better, and besides, your voice is so ugly.” Her contemptuous smile and glaring eyes hurt me deeply. For a while, we were both silent. Then she clenched her teeth and her face turned red when she said, “Just look at your old-fashioned dress and listen to your terrible accent. You are a bumpkin!” I was so hurt that I couldn’t speak, and so I put my head on my desk as my eyes grew moist with tears. From that moment, we no longer spoke to each other.
What happened a few days later helped me learn to understand and tolerate others. I began to talk with her, saying, “Jiayu, I have thought a lot about what you said, and you helped me to know myself better. I understand that you want me to make some changes and become better. I should have accepted your advice.” She looked up at me in surprise and said, “It was my fault, I should respect you, but I didn’t. Would you forgive me?” I nodded with a smile. Eventually, we both took a step backward and learned to understand and tolerate each other.
During the school year, Jiayu helped me learn many things from my outlook on life and to my values. She promised to help me speak better Mandarin, and she even helped me with my dress style. As time went by, we became closer. We talked about the ideal life, long-term visions, and proper behavior and etiquette. She told me that her dream was to be a fashion designer, and I was inspired by her dream because I didn’t have a dream at that time. We shared books about learning to discover your vision and passion for life. Even today, we often get together and talk about our lives. She is proud of my successes, and she worries when I have troubles. She always encourages me to get through the down times. What’s more, she helps me learn to become the person I want to be.
Having a close friend in life is enough. Indeed, Jiayu is not only my dear friend, but also one who encourages me to establish my outlook on life and values. She helps to guide of my life because she not only helps me to know myself, but also helps me to think about my own life. Moreover, she gives me confidence and encouragement to pursue my goals. Now, I have learned to tolerate and understand others. I am grateful to have such a friend and I will cherish our friendship forever.
Additional Comments – Friendships are in important part of life and having a close friend with whom you can share everything is a real gift. I am well aware that most of you ladies have a much easier time making friends that guys do. If fact, people often point to the fact that the American male is virtually “friendless.” How many really close male friends do most men have? The answer is more often than not, “NONE.” Acquaintances, yes, but no true friends.
We read in the Bible that David (before he became king) and Jonathan (King Saul’s son), were close friends, so close that they would risk their lives for each other. But my favorite illustration comes from the mouths of those contemptible religious leaders who were always out to accuse, threaten, and condemn Jesus. Here was their accusation: “Behold, he is a gluttonous man and a drunkard, a friend of tax-collectors and sinners!” (Mt. 11:19). “A Friend of Sinners” –Jesus wore that accusation as a badge on his robe because it defined who He was. He wore it with pride, because it not only defined His character, but also His mission to love and redeem “sinners.”
Let’s face it, we have all wandered far from God. The Bible describes us as being “alienated” from God, hostile toward Him in our thoughts and deeds. But reconciliation with God was made possible through Jesus’ blood shed on His cross, resulting Peace (Col. 1:20-22). Yes, each one of us can have “Peace with God” because Jesus reconciled us through His blood shed on the cross. Of all the needs we have, the greatest need of all is to have “Peace with God.”
Like our student and her desk mate, their friendship was birthed in conflict. And that’s how it is with each of us. Being first alienated from God, we can now be reconciled to Him through His cross. Jesus called His disciples “Friends” because of their faith in and commitment to Him. And we can also be known as His friend, but first, we need to be aware of our alienation from Him. When we admit that, we can then draw near to Him through the blood of His cross. Accept the forgiveness He offers, and then you can experience His peace, and move “From Foe to Friend.”
