I was sound asleep when I suddenly heard my mother say, “Get up dear, or you will be late for school. You want to make a good impression on your new teacher.” I remember that I was just six years old, and it was a Monday morning on my very first day of first grade. After breakfast, I packed my school bag and got on the city bus that would take me by my school.

I took pride in the fact that in kindergarten, I was always on time for school, and this day was no exception. I was very happy all morning, but little did I know that things were about to change. During our afternoon class, I took part in a game with several other boys. It was a fun game, and I enjoyed playing it very much. But suddenly, one of the boys came over and cursed me using some terrible language. When I asked him why, he explained: “You bumped and hurt me just now!” I never remembered bumping him, but I apologized anyway, and then went away. However, he continued to revile me, maybe because he thought my apology was not sincere. Therefore, with anger boiling inside of me, I came over to him and punched him in the face. It was just one punch, but it made him cry loudly, which of course, drew the attention of the whole class, including our teacher, who scolded me and said that he would have to tell my parents about the incident.   

When I got home, I was too afraid to tell my parents what had happened, even though I suspected that my teacher had already spoken with my mother. When I woke up the next morning, I refused to go to school, and that’s when my mother tried to get me to confess to hitting my classmate. She asked, “Did you make trouble in school yesterday?” I had to tell her the truth and bowed my head shamefully. Then she took me to school and we didn’t say a word to each other the entire way. After reaching school, the boy who had cursed me the day before was sitting with his mother in the teacher’s office. My mother and I were chastised by both the teacher and the boy’s mother. Even now, I can remember the smug smile on the boy’s face. Since that time, I have been haunted by the memory of this event, and as a result, I became more and more timid, allowing myself to be bullied by other classmates for the rest of the school year.

The following year I went to a new primary school and was safe from being bullied by other students. But when I graduated to junior middle school, I once again became the one who was bullyragged by others. Because of the deep hurts that existed during these years, I did not retaliate but simply tolerated their abusive and mean behavior. From that time, I tried to focus on my studies and avoided contacting, playing, and talking with any of my mean-spirited classmates. Fortunately, as I became more reserved and tried to avoid large groups of students, I discovered my true love for mathematics and chemistry. 

When I recall this period of my life, I feel fortunate that I did not become a bad boy as those portrayed in the classical movie, “Young and Dangerous.” In this movie, the lives of the main characters were filled with fighting, and even killing, where loyalty to other gang members always came first. Not too long ago, when I had dinner with my university friends, I heard one of them say that many of his middle school classmates loved the characters in that movie so much that they eventually dropped out of school. I have often wondered if some of them might be those former classmates who incessantly bullied me. 

I was once an outgoing child who liked to associate with many friends, but one who also had a “quick” temper. This event in my past helped to reshape my personality into one who is  more reserved and even-tempered. I now see how just one punch could have eventually led to a lifestyle of violent behavior. Even now, my mother remembers this event and understands the reasons for my change of temperament. I am grateful that this event has allowed me to become an important member of my family who will one day make a valuable contribution to society.

Additional Comments – Sometimes it takes unfortunate or tragic circumstances to change us. And as someone has said, we can become either “bitter” or “better.” I am so grateful that my student allowed this event to make him “better,” and during the time that he wrote about these events, he was a first-year PhD student in chemistry. I am blessed to know that he allowed his painful past to redirect the course of his life from a potential hooligan to a top student. 

In my book, “The Gift that Changes Everything,” I talk about change and the impact that those changes make in a person who receives the Gift. And, as you might expect, those changes are all for the “better.” The Bible talks quite a bit about “change” or “transformation.” Almost six hundred years before Christ, the Prophet Ezekiel told the nation of Israel that “…the time was coming when God would give them a new heart, turning their hardened and resistant hearts of stone into tender and compassionate hearts of flesh” (Ezek. 36:26-27). That time came when Jesus arrived and sent His Holy Spirit to invade the lives of those who received His gift. Changing a hardened heart to a soft and tender heart is something that only God can do, and that’s what He specializes in.

The giving of a new heart is akin to what Jesus referred to as the “new birth” (Jn. 3:3). Of course, Jesus is not speaking of a physical “rebirth,” but a spiritual one in which the old person “dies” and the new person comes to life. When someone receives “The Gift,” he or she “…becomes a whole new creation in which all things become new” (2 Cor. 5:17). It’s “The Gift” the changes our attitudes, our inclinations, our hopes, our desires, and even our thinking. Indeed, “The Gift” changes everything for us.

It was just one punch that began a journey of discovery for my former student. And, God has been watching over each one of us during our life’s journey. And, in spite of the lousy choices we have sometimes made, He still loves and cares for us more than we can imagine. Interestingly, it may actually be those “lousy” choices that will lead us to receive “The Gift” that He came to give us. God wants to change us, but He will not force Himself on us. He waits for us to come to Him in repentance and faith, asking Him to give us “The Gift” that He freely offers to each one of us.