Last week we focused our attention on the disposition of “Forbearance,” and we discovered that tolerating or “bearing with one another” was an exhortation given to the Church in Colossae by the Apostle Paul:

“Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you” (Colossians 3:13).

Notice that in this single verse Paul connected “forbearance” with “forgiveness.” Both “Forbearance” and “Forgiveness” suggest an active commitment to tolerate the weaknesses and differences of others, and to also forgive any insults or grievances that may have been directed toward us.  

This disposition of “Forgiveness” is a huge topic that I cannot cover in just one blog, and so today, we will just scratch the surface of this important issue. To begin, I’d like to focus on two areas that are sources of conflict between family members and friends, and also between members of the Body of Christ. The first has to do with the WORDS that we speak to others, and this includes the WORDS that have been spoken to us. Here is Paul’s admonition to the Church in Ephesus:   

^“Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only words that are good for building up one another that they may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).

How often have we spoken, or received, words that are hurtful and destructive? If we are honest, we must admit that such words have spewed from our own mouths just as those same words have been directed toward us from others. In other words, we have failed to heed Paul’s admonition to speak words that are good for building others up, and therefore, we need to approach the offended person and seek forgiveness from them. On the flip side, if we have been the recipient of such unkind words, as we all have been, we need to forgive the other person for the things they have said or done to us whether or not they recognize the damage that has been done to our own souls.   

Now, how about our ACTIONS toward others, or the ACTIONS that we have received from others? Once again, the Church in Ephesus received some admonishing words from the Apostle Paul:   

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

How many times in the past week have we not acted “kindly” toward others? And on the flip side, how often have we been the recipient of “unkind” and hurtful actions? Did you notice that Paul also admonished us to be “tenderhearted” (or “compassionate”) toward others, and to “forgive” them for the offences we have received?

When it comes to “Forgiveness,” we must realize that the knife cuts both ways: we need to ask others to forgive us for the hurtful WORDS and ACTIONS that we had directed toward them, and we need to also forgive others for those same hurtful WORDS and ACTIONS” that have landed in our own laps. It goes without saying that we must seek forgiveness for the WORDS and ACTIONS that we have directed toward others, but we must also be aware of our need to forgive others for what they have said or done to us that have cut deeply into our souls.

We must all acknowledge the fact that forgiving others for what they have said or done to us is really tough. However, I am convinced that when we fail to forgive others, as the Bible commands us to do, we have bought into one or more of the MYTHS that we have been led to believe, even as little children. When we believe these MYTHS, we avoid forgiving others for the hurtful offenses we have received. And this is where we will turn our attention in next week’s blog.

I hope you will join me.