I concluded last week’s blog with some important comments that need to be repeated. When it comes to “Forgiveness,” we must realize that the knife cuts both ways: we need to ask others to forgive us for the hurtful WORDS and ACTIONS that we had directed toward them, and we need to also forgive others for those same hurtful WORDS and ACTIONS that have landed in our own laps. It goes without saying that we must seek forgiveness for the WORDS and ACTIONS that we have directed toward others, but we must also be aware of our need to forgive others for what they have said or done to us that have cut deeply into our souls.

I believe that we can all relate to the fact that forgiving others for what they have said or done to us is really tough. However, I am convinced that when we fail to forgive others, as the Bible commands us to do, we have bought into one or more of the MYTHS that we have been led to believe, even as little children. When we believe these MYTHS, we avoid forgiving others for the hurtful offenses we have received.

And so, it’s time to identify some of the MYTHS that have prevented us from forgiving others for their offenses directed toward us.   

Here are 5 MYTHS ABOUT FORGIVENESS:  

• FORGIVENESS IS A FEELING – Let’s face it, no one ever feels like forgiving a person who has wronged us. If we waited for our emotions to catch up with our need to forgive, we would never do so. 

• FORGIVENESS IS PRETENDING WE WEREN’T HURT – If we weren’t hurt, then there would not have been any damage to our “soul,” and there would be no need to forgive the other person. We must stop pretending and face the reality that what the other person said or did was really hurtful. 

• FORGIVENESS IS ABSOLVING THE OTHER PERSON’S WORDS OR ACTIONS — Again, this is the game that we usually like to play by telling ourselves that what they did or said was really not that bad, and therefore, there is no need to forgive the other person. We are not asking forgiveness for the other person, as they need to ask such forgiveness from God themselves. 

• FORGIVENESS IS FORGETTING THAT THE OFFENSE EVER OCCURRED – Let’s face it, trying to “forget” about a hurtful offence is a monumental task, and if you have ever tried it, you have discovered that it is virtually impossible to do so. You and I will never forget a grievous offence that was directed toward us, but that should never stop us from forgiving the other person. 

• FORGIVENESS IS RELIEVING THE OTHER PERSON’S RESPONSIBILITY TO ASK FORGIVENESS FROM GOD AND FROM YOU – Just because we forgive the person who has offended us does not mean that they do not have to ask God for forgiveness for their own words or actions, or to ask you to forgive them. 

After acknowledging the MYTHS that may have been keeping us from forgiving others for their offenses toward us, we are confronted with the need to actually forgive them. And this is the tough part that we must recognize, that is, failing to forgive others has some very unpleasant and destructive consequences. And that is where we will turn our attention in next week’s blog. I hope you will join me.